How the mRobo Ultra Bass Works

Author's Note

When our robot masters finally rise up to destroy their naive creators, we will be prepared, I hope, to meet our decapitations with equanimity. That said, having our heads subsequently spiked as part of some robotic touchdown dance strikes me as excessive.

Which raises the question: Do we need a dancing robot-speaker? Silly consumer, of course we do! I mean, you might as well ask if we needed a Big Mouth Billy Bass, a Let's Rock Elmo or a Furby ... ah, yes; point taken.

Look, isn't life's dance floor strewn with tiny humiliations enough already? Do we really need to add another? Are we supposed to lose our jobs AND our dance partners to these transistorized TraVOLTas? If you ask me, the whole thing will end in tears -- likely following the inevitable humans-vs.-robots, John Henry-esque dance-off (tragically, all humans perish, consumed in a disco inferno).

After that, there'll be no saving us -- unless, that is, Dr. Funkenstein and his agents of Supergroovalisticprosifunkstication return in their P-Funk Mothership to provide funk deliverance.

I can picture it now: Bootsy Collins beaming down to some Australian discotheque to rescue Sarah Connor. As he extends his ring-bedecked hand, he utters those nine fateful words:

"Funk with me if you want to live, baby."

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